Have You Ever Been to the Carnivale?

I went to the Carnival yesterday and had the time of my life.
I rode the toy horses and the giant ferris wheel
(and no, I wasn't scared)
I bought red roses for my girl,
(she was so beautiful)
forever was now.
we etched our names and our lil' lives on the old oak tree
The clown, he gave me three balloons - red, green and blue...
And my mother bought me an ice-cream
(how old was I?)

Have you never been to the Carnival?

Strange thing happened at the Carnival yesterday,
The giant ferris wheel was broken and the toy horses wouldn't work...
the rain washed away the colours, the balloons were now a darker shade of grey.
The roses were black - the wilted fallen petals littered the ground like broken wings...
there were maggots crawling in my ice-cream...

only the clown remained - watching; an ancient monster that I still loved...
unspeakable & blasphemous names were carved roughly on the trunk of an old oak tree.
The sky bled crimson...
the shadows grew taller, and the Carnival was empty
a cold mocking moon rose amongst the tattered clouds...

You'd think that I'd want to leave the Carnival,
but it was ok -
I was already dead.

"Sleep... is too quiet, dreams are too painful
truth is the bed of this ocean of lies.
Words can create an oblivion ocean:
dad tell me, will I be dead very long?"